The List of Irritations

Tessa: Sometimes I ask Dave what he loves about me. And because he is who he is, he almost always replies even though he's a bit tired of the whole thing. First he sighs and then with a look of deep weariness he goes down the list of my lovable attributes. He's a good guy. Other times, just to shake things up, I ask him what irritates him about me. And because he is also a wise man, he never answers. So secretly I have been collecting what turns out to be a rather long list of things that I know bug him about me. Here goes:

1. I snore. Heavily. Consistently. Nightly. I often wake up in the middle of the night to find Dave jumping up and down trying to wake me from my heavy snore-filled slumber. I'm positive this irritates him.
2. As noted in a previous blog, I am a sissy. I cross roads to avoid on-coming dogs, I never turn left on busy roads, like a true British Columbian I can't drive in anything less than perfect conditions. I am also afraid of scary movies and even not-so-scary movies.
3. Cost estimates based on nothing: This is also another sensitive issue. Often, during conversations about how much something will cost, for example, our home beautification wish list, I will bravely offer up a cost estimate based on nothing. No research or experience goes into it I just pull a number right out of my head. This can be done with just about anything from car repairs, a new roof, the budget for a small start-up business or the cost of running a small country. When this happens, which is frequently, Dave just looks at me and asks how I arrived at my number. Actually, he doesn't even do that anymore. He looks at me and ignores me.
4. I am a picky eater. I didn't know this before Dave but apparently this is what I am. Panagopoulis in a squeeze just won't cut it and why bother eating Milky Ways when the Swiss and the Belgians do so much better with chocolate.
5. Dave says I'm noisy. Apparently he was going to complain about our neighbour''s noise but in light of my own noise making he feels he can't. My noise making allegedly consists of slamming kitchen doors shut, never being able to find my inside voice, and running into things and snoring loudly.
6. He'll never admit this but he can't stand the amount of water I use to boil pasta. According to D. there should always be lots of water in the pot. I lean towards using less rather than more.
7. I never put my shoes back in the cupboard neatly on the bench he built for just that very thing. I am working on this.
8. Sometimes I poke him when he's sleeping because I think he's awake. It turns out that often he isn't so he thinks I'm trying to wake him up when all I'm trying to do is see if he is already awake and ready for nocturnal conversation.
9. I sleep in the middle of the bed. This is true.
10. I walk in the middle of the sidewalk. This is true.
11. I can't drink and stay up all night like I originally advertised on Lavalife. The first year of our relationship I didn't sleep at all because I didn't want him to know that I snored. But since the time I snored when I was a awake and talking to him its all over. Which means bed at 9:00 pm if not earlier.
12. He thinks that I don't think this bothers him but it does. I forget to brush my hair for weeks on end. I often have a big knot at the back of my head which I think is fashionably unkempt but he thinks looks like I never brush or wash my hair.
13. Five minutes before we leave the house I run around vacuuming, washing the floors and doing the laundry while he waits outside the door. I didn't know I did this and am doing nothing to change this habit.
14. I snore.