Separated at Birth

Tessa: Well, well, well. Who would have guessed it. Wayne Rooney and I are on the same team and its not Manchester United! ? It's called Sleep Neurosis. A friend of mine sent me a link to an article in The Guardian where Rooney talked about his sleep habits in a new autobiography entitled, My Story So Far. It turns out that Rooney can't get to sleep without a vacuum cleaner on or baring that a hair dryer or television set. " I not only like to have the TV and light on to help me sleep but also a vacuum cleaner. Failing that, a fan or hairdryer will do. I've ruined so many hairdryers by letting them burn out. So far I haven't set fire to anything. " Unlike Rooney, I haven't graduated to vacuum cleaners yet but I do travel everywhere with a handy portable fan that generates enough white noise to lull me into a state of restful slumber. That and a bag of uber impenetrable earplugs and a set of ear muffs and I'm ready to catch some good zzzzzsss. I don't remember when my sleep neurosis began but I do remember buying a pack of gum and feeling some kind of relief when I realized I could chew on it all night long and I found that inexplicably soothing. That was right after I gave up on sleeping pills so nocturnal gum chewing have been an act of desperation. When I travelled to Calgary with my friend Diane to attend speedskating camp we shared a room at the dorm. She was shocked when I pulled out my sleep accoutrement. Unable to sleep with my fan on which she deemed 'too noisy'(what does she know???) I was obliged to going back to rabid nocturnal gum chewing to survive the trip. When I met Dave I decided to abandon both the earplugs (how unromantic AND the fan (how weird). I knew I had met my soul mate when on our second sleepover he stared at the ceiling, sighed and said " I sure wish I had my fan here." How great is that! Next date he brought over his fan which has been with us ever since. Thank god for Wayne Rooney. The Sleep Weirdos have finally been outed.
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